Not Everything Is Black And White
by FireEscape1892
Summary: Arizona left for Africa. What if Callie wasn't mad at her like the show made her out to be? What if she realized she doesn't need someone to stand by her to make her dreams come true? What if she never slept with Mark? And what if she went after those dreams? What happens when Arizona comes back and see's that Callie isn't how she thought she would be when she came back?


AN: Ok guys I know I probably shouldn't start this one while I have another one I should be working on, but I couldn't get this out of my head. I know people get tired of hearing about the Africa plot but I never liked how that went. So I'm writing my own version of things. Hope you like it and leave me a review! Everything happening up to the airport scene happens, after that though its all mine. Read and review guys!

Also I would like to think GAshipper for convincing me that this was good and I should post it. Check out her stories cause they are amazing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's anatomy or Private Practice.

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The sound of waves crashing against each other as they race to the shore filled my ears. It took me back to when i was little and growing up in Miami. California's waves sound different though. They sound new and unexplored. It's like anything could be waiting out there.

I've been in L.A. for 3 weeks. After staying in Seattle for a week of doing nothing but lying in a hotel bed doing nothing but crying about how much my life sucked. I couldn't get my old apartment back. I tried to get my old job back, but it seemed Webber wasn't as forgiving as I thought he would be. No point sticking in a city that has so many bad memories. I never got why so many of the doctors stuck around when they're surrounded by tragedy working in that place.

Everyone there has been through more pain to last someone 10 lifetimes, yet no one ever tries to leave. They never leave because it's too painful and their tired of all the pain that hospital seems to attract, they instead leave for better jobs or to make a difference somewhere else. I didn't have anything to tie me down. Yeah I have friends there, but I was tired of the pity look. It's the only look people seem to throw my way. I was left in the middle of the airport by my girlfriend. My girlfriend chose a job over me. I felt humiliated. Once again i was left in the dust while my significant other found something better. George chose Izzie. Erica chose her pride. Arizona chose Africa.

I thought when I started seeing Arizona things would change for me and they did. Just for a little while. I thought she was the one that id have everything with.

"Hey you," I turn my head to look to where the voice had come from. I didn't even hear her come home. I look blankly at her. She just smiles softly at me.

"Hey." Addie has been the only good thing in my life lately. She saved me when I thought I was drowning. She came to Seattle and whisked me away to the sunny and dry weather of L.A. She's been good to be around. It's nice to have someone's point of view when they are not torn between whose sides to pick because they know both parties.

"I see you started without me. What are you doing out here?," I follow her eyes and they land on my half empty wine glass with and empty wine bottle next to it. It almost makes me feel guilty for drinking all her wine.

"Yeah well, I've got nothing else to do in this town." The bitterness still hasn't left my voice yet. Nothing is worth get happy over lately.

"You could go out? Meet some locals or a complete stranger. Do some site seeing?" I know what she's suggesting by the tone of her voice. I can't even possibly think about being with someone else now. Having meaningless sex with a stranger might make me feel better for a little while but that's all it is. Meaningless. I'm tired of having things that don't matter.

"No thanks."

"Oh come on it might make you feel better. It's not good to be sitting up in here alone all day, every day. How about tomorrow you come to work with me? Finally show you around the place, meet everyone you haven't met yet." she looks at me hopefully. I just don't really have it in me to say no.

"Sleeping with someone who isn't her is just a way of showing me what I lost. It's going to do more hurt than good."

"Well what about coming to work with me? Everyone thinks I'm lying about you coming down here to stay."

"Sure, I guess I don't have anything else better to do."

"Wow. Your enthusiasm astounds me, really." I crack a small smile at her sarcasm.

"Oh my goodness! Is that a smile I see coming from Callie Torres? Let me alert the media."

"Ha-ha. No need to be a bitch about it. It's not like I have much to smile about."

"You could smile about what you do have. Its more than what others might have." There she goes with trying to get me out of my funk I've been in. Making me feel bad for not being appreciative for what I do have.

"I know what you're doing." I state. No point of drawing this conversation out.

"And what's that?"

"You want me to move on and try to forget her and all that we had. I'm a big girl and should take the break up like a grown person should. It's not that easy though. I was left in an airport crying and pleading for the woman I love to just turn around and talk to me. She just kept walking. She never even looked back, not once. And now I have to start over once again. I have to go through it all and try to find someone else. The thing is though, I don't want anyone else. She was it for me. Arizona Robbins was who I wanted everything with."

We sit in silence for about 10 minutes. Seems like silence is all there is around here. The summer night heat fresh o my skin as the wind blows. L.A. is a beautiful place, but it's not home. I'm not sure where home is anymore, I just know it's not here.

"Do you think she'll come back?" Addie breaks the silence, with the one question that's been running through my head for weeks now.

"Well the grant was for three years, so yeah in three years I imagine she will." It's hard to imagine not seeing her for three years. It's already hard not having her here with me now.

"No I mean like do you think she'll realize that she's an idiot and come back to you before the grant is over."

"No I don't think she'll come back. Arizona Robbins doesn't like to admit she's wrong. And besides, there's nothing for her to come back to. We're done; she made that clear when she walked away." Addie just stares at me like she wants to deny what I'm saying, but we both know it's the truth. You just don't get over the love of your life leaving you for a job. No matter how much that job will help the world. When the love of your life chooses a life without you in it, how do you even begin to move on from that?

A part of me would like to think she would come back for me, but the truth is she already walked away. She chose a job. She left me. It's simple. It's plain as black and white. If that doesn't scream we're not meant to be, then I don't know what does.

Addie stands up and turns to look at me. I can tell she's about to go on one of her rants, and it will probably be 100% true. She always has been good at giving advice. Even when I don't want it, she lets me have it anyways.

"You know sooner or later you're going to have to move on. You're going to have to pick up the pieces and fix yourself. I know it's hard to even think about that now, and for a little while you get to be upset over it. You get to be mad or sad. She might not have died but you get to grieve over what you lost. I know it's still new and it hurts but you can't let her hold you back. You said yourself that she's not coming back. I don't want you to wake up one day and realize that you spent all that time waiting for someone who didn't look back once when they left you. You deserve to be happy and you don't need a man or woman for that to happen. You also don't need someone by your side to make your other dreams come true. You're Callie Torres the badass orthopedic surgeon. You put people back together. So put yourself back together, be happy and go out there and chase your dreams instead of waiting for them to come to you. " I sit silently letting her words run through my head.

"Well I'm heading to bed; I've had a long day. You should get some sleep to. Goodnight sweetie," she kisses my forehead and walks into the condo.

"Goodnight." I whisper softly after her.

I sit out on the patio for a while thinking about what Addie said. She's right. I shouldn't waste time on someone who doesn't want me to. Arizona left. She's not coming back. I know I wasn't in the right when she left but I wasn't wrong either. I'm tired of being left. I'm tired of being alone. I don't need someone by my side to make my dreams come true. If i want something I have to go out and get it myself, or else id be waiting forever for my dreams to come true.

I slowly stand and grab my glass and bottle of wine and take it inside. I wash the glass out and put it away. Seems these days I can't stand the clutter. I have nothing else to do with my days but clean it seems like. I'm sure Addie appreciate it seeing as her condo's never been cleaner.

I walk up the stairs to my room and head for the bathroom. Everything in her is pearl white and clean. I start to brush my teeth and for the first time as I look in the mirror, I see how far I've let myself go. Addison is right, I'm Callie Torres. I don't wait around for things to come to and I certainly am not the kind of girl who wastes her time on someone who doesn't want me.

If only things were that simple though. If only we could move on from the ones who caused us so much pain. But as they say, Goodbyes aren't so simple.

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Ok so? What did ya'll think? Leave me a review because they motivate me or if you would like something to happen in this story PM me the idea and I might add it!


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